Let's put the cup back in the World Cup.

You're gonna like this one. If you're under 18, stop reading, and don't click any links.

After my last final today, a classmate showed a few of us this photo from the World Cup official site. Look closely. One classmate said, "That's ri-cock-ulous." (Get it?) Another said, "Literally."

Eww.

Got any Adderal?

Day before yesterday: 3.

1) In a review of "Winged Migration," the reviewer noted that the documentary gives us "quite literally, a bird's-eye view..." Gross. I don't want that. And, how can something be quite literal? If it's literal, it's literal, right?

2) Michael told me about how he was at a restaurant the other day, and a waitress across the room was talking loudly to a customer about the most recent season of "The Shield." She started telling the customer about what happened with Glenn Close's character at the end of the season. Michael told me that he "literally put [his] finger in [his] ear" and started humming to block out the sound. It worked.

3) Matt Damon in "Syriana:" "It's literally 125 degrees here."

Two down, one to go

Four instances of "literally" today. First, during the open-book part of my property final, I perused a certain section of my case book and found a funny usage. But I can't remember it now, and I left the book at school. I don't plan on ever opening it again.

After the final, a friend told me she was in a rush at the end of it and was "literally, like, writing down sentences" there towards the end. As opposed to fragments, I guess.

Then another friend said it while we were having a post-exam drink. I was under the influence, plus I'm sleep-deprived and brain-fried, so I don't remember what he said.

Then someone at the back of my bus on the way home said it. But I couldn't hear the whole sentence.

A pretty incomplete account. But all my focus, memory and concentration were used up between 8:30 a.m. and 12:05 p.m.

Not as bad as "penultimate."

In 12.5 hours my property law final will begin. Studying property law literally turns my stomach.

Finally I found David Cross's bit online. But it's censored for some reason by the guy who included it at the end of his mispronunciation-laden podcast. To spite the censorer, I'll say it: "Fuck" (possibly from the German "ficken:" to “strike, beat, knock or bang”).

When I find an uncensored version, I'll post it.

Finals

People are saying "literally" around me all the time. I'm saying it, too. I don't care anymore. Finals have begun.

A few usages I've overheard/read:

"She's literally acting like a psychopath."

"I'm waiting for a UPS delivery right now. I've been waiting figuratively since late Tuesday for it. I literally waited all afternoon Wednesday for it, and literally all afternoon (and now literally early evening) for it. Once it comes -- if, literally, it ever does -- I'm going to the gym."

"Not literally shooting singles." Ha ha ha.

Be more funny

In The Comedians of Comedy, Patton Oswalt uses "literally" literally four times. That's right. Four times in one movie. And it wasn't funny, like when David Cross does it.

Truth and Lies

I went to an art opening last night, and someone who works at the gallery said to someone else, "I was literally like..." then slowly and sharply moved his hand in front of his face three times.

Who Would Jesus Do?

A fake Christian got punk'd by amateurs. The post contains presumably correct usage of your favorite word.

Apparently this guy also started a fight w/ 311 by walking up to them and saying, "311, I'm ready to fight." I'll let you search out that story on your own.

Back to work.