Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The grammar police, literally

This is at once entertaining, gratifying and scary. Not in that order.

From the AP: "Language detectives literally read between the lines."

Given technological changes in how people communicate, including criminals, cops are starting to rely on language experts instead of handwriting analysis. The idea is interesting, but how heavily weighted should such evidence be? You could easily frame someone by writing like them, for one thing. The same problem exists in terms of handwriting experts -- haven't these cops seen Heathers?

The first sentence of the article captures the problem perfectly: "Because of a quirk in his grammar, a Pennsylvania wife-killer wound up with a 40-year sentence."

Most hilariously, a Pennsylvania cop said of their language expert: "He literally was able take the words right out of that guy's mouth." No one is above the law, pig. I hope the language expert treated him to a blanket party after reading that. And the person responsible for the headline should be fined and sentenced to community service. But not in a school.

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